Jingle Bells, Batman Smells

Okay, so the post title seems a little immature, but some day's you just gotta let loose.
I think the main reason I wrote it was mostly because that's how I feel this Christmas season.
Let's get this straight - I LOVE Christmas, so much. It's by far my most favorite time of year, as much as I love the warm weather of the summer (and being from the Prairies, man do you miss the warmth); I love Christmas.
Love, love love.
But this year with everything we've been through, the financial strain we've been under, the constant emotional pressure and uncertainty has certainly affected my Christmas spirit.
Life has been so incredibly up and down, I just want to be able to enjoy my holiday season and not have to worry about opening up my mailbox and finding another dreaded WCB letter.
Maybe that's selfish, I could have it so much worse. We might not have bought mortgage insurance, we may never had found a suitable renter, or the worst of all, I might not have had Michael.
I'm going to try really hard to enjoy my holiday season and not stress.

Next week my sister-in-law comes for five days which I am really, really excited for. I only have a half day of work while she's here and the rest of the time off. (Yes for 3 weeks vacay a year!)
I'm going to soak up all of the holy-jolly goodness I can and for hopefully at least the span of my two favorite days, not stress and just enjoy life.

Hope you all have a wonderful week.

Alex

Just one of those days... Again??

Good morning cyber space;
Yesterday started out fine and dandy, sure I didn't have the motivation to be at work as I missed Wednesday to be in Saskatoon to meet with his surgeon, who by the way, assured us twice that Michael's knee surgery is "WCB approved".
Pfffttt.
Should have known better.
Michael has missed three appointments in November (physio, he has to go every day), once because he was sick, once because his Auntie had given him rodeo tickets and once because of this doctors appointment. Being sick is excusable, taking time off to enjoy your life?? Yah right.
Now every time Michael has a WCB inquiry, they generally take a few weeks to get back to him and then they write an unclear letter, but miss an appointment?? Oh no, they called three work hours THE NEXT DAY to tell him he was cut off. The lady went on and on before Michael could even get a word in saying he was at a doctors appointment! Then she did the whole "oh, um, well then..." he said, yes I have surgery in January that you guys approved.
She went on to say, no they hadn't, and there was no note in the file about surgery. Super. Really super. Michael's actual case worker is on holidays, so he tried to get a hold of the team leader twice to no avail.
This prompted him to write a letter to a prominent lawyer firm who deals with personal injury and alot of WCB claims.
I have no idea what's going to happen now. I'm so tired, tired of being stressed, worried, constantly thinking about finances and how we would loose our house if Michael got cut off.
Needless to say, I'm so glad that it's the weekend. I need the break from work, I know that's sad as I just had a vacation but after my day yesterday I need another one.
If anyone is the praying type, please say a little prayer for us.

Have a good weekend.

Alex

Back from Vacation

Hi Blogworld!
I've been gone for the last two weeks because I've been on vacation, it was wonderful and relaxing and now I'm all geared up to be at work (I'm so lucky to have a job I enjoy), and get ready for the Christmas season.

I've been having some over-reacting issues lately and I felt like if I blogged about them it may help me to feel better.
See I've always had a problem with being OCD. But lately it's worst, it's almost like I'm never satisfied with how clean our house is or little things like that. Michael recently finished the spare room in our basement that we are renting out, it looks great! But it's like all I could see was the places where the mudder/taper messed up (severely in the closet, but hey, it's a basement closet), or where Michael let some paint drip. Michael also had to go with a semi-gloss paint which honestly, I hate, because you can see every brush stroke and change of direction. Unfortunately he thought he'd surprise me with painting our bedroom (it didn't get done) and had to buy a semi-gloss paint for that too (*sigh*). Anyways, the point is, Michael worked really, really hard on this room and I really hurt him by just seeing the little flaws and not the overall awesomeness!
I really feel awful about it, I know that I need to just chill and not get so upset about these silly little things.
I just don't know how...

Does anyone out there have any tips for just letting the little things go? I could really use some help with this one.

Anyways, I should really get to work considering I've been off for ten days!

Let the Christmas magic begin for you all, and have a great rest of your week!

<3 Alex

Happy Thursday/Friday!

So I have a few minutes to type this post.
I'm in an excellent mood today because it's the Thursday before a long weekend and Michael and I's fourth anniversary is tomorrow.
Although the one downside to today is that Michael is at the doctor's getting... Fluid replacement in his knee, I forget what the actual name is, but apparently it's supposed to be excruciating. Which really sucks because him and a couple of buddies are putting up the drywall in the basement today.
Back to good things though, we have a double date with one of our really good friends and her boyfriend (who is now our really good friend) to go out to dinner which I'm really looking forward to.
And it's a long weekend!! I LOVE long weekends, although I guess I can't complain about being at work too much because I go on holidays in a week.
So sending everyone happy vibes and have a great weekend!

Quote of the day: Have something to do, something to love and something to hope for...

<3 Alex

Enjoy Life

Good day everyone;
I realise that my last post was very depressing.
It just all kind of came pouring out, it's alot to deal with sometimes and I really needed to vent.
Life is still good, and on that note here are ten things that make me happy right now:
1. Finally feeling caught up at work.
2. Picking out our fuzzy carpet for the basement that I love.
3. Having my ipod and music at work now.
4. The sun is currently shining in my office and feels really nice.
5. My trip back home is in ten days!
6. The new book I'm reading by Rick Riodarn.
7. Michael and I's fourth anniversary is on Friday.
8. All of the Christmas stuff is coming in stores, I LOVE Christmas.
9. Going to have BBQ steak for supper!
10. The show I love to watch is on tonight.

Trying to look on the bright side and stay confident.
Good vibes to all.

Alex

*Le Sigh

Good morning everybody;
I had a not-so-great night last night, having a better morning but not so great night.
The company Mike worked for at the time of the accident's insurance company called him yesterday and gave him a file number to call the police with to release the accident report (eight months later...) then they told him their own engineer would go over the file and make some decisions and comments and what not.
What this means we don't know. Michael is terrified he's going to be at fault for something.
Michael doesn't remember any of the accident, it was extreme foggy conditions that day and thus far no one knows what's happened. Due to the conditions it could really be nobodies fault, but who really knows?
On one hand (the worst hand) Michael could be at fault and be charged (although after eight months that seems highly unlikely), on the other hand it could be declared a no-fault and no one was at fault, and on the third hand the poor Gentleman who passed away could be declared at fault and we would be entitled to compensation.
Which has prompted some of our family as well as our own lawyer to tell us to seek a personal injury lawyer. I'm not sure how I feel about this whole thing really. My thoughts are so jumbled up right now.
On top of this Michael hasn't gotten paid this week and our mortgage comes out today.
Super.

Having a not so sunshiny day...
Alex

Happy Halloween!

Happy Halloween!
We rocked Halloween this year.
Pumpkin lights, window jellies, skulls in the long windows, a full wall stick up (that required an obscene amount of tape) for people to take pictures against, colored light bulbs, eye balls in drinks, Halloween cups, bowls, table cloth, treats, cobwebs, pumpkins, pumpkin garland, caution tape, ghosties in trees, and a fog machine. (What, normal people don't do fog machines?)
In attendance were:
Thor, Queen of Mardi Gras, Spiderman, the Dude (Big Lebowski), an Angel, Michael Jackson, the Grim Reaper, the Devil, Queen of Hearts, a Banana, a Fire Fighter, a Ninja, and Mike and I (Zombie Convict and Bumblebee respectively).
It was a good party, a little low-key, as Ocktoberfest was the night before, our friends and us go every year.
I'm pumped to go home and hand out treats to the kiddies, I love that part!
Our older cat hated everything as he is a grumpy bum, but our younger cat had a time chasing everyone's lost feathers and glitter. Our dog ran around like she usually does getting attention. Everyone loves her, which I don't get because most people hate annoying, large dogs. But Gracie is just so sweet you have to love her.
Now you may think from this post that were total Halloween junkies. This actually isn't true, I just wanted to have a Halloween party and Michael insisted we go all out. So we did.
Now Christmas... I love Christmas SO much. I am a crazy Christmas person. Once December 1st hits, BAM, out come the decorations and holiday cheer. (I would start on November 16th, the day after my birthday but Michael won't have it).

On the flip side Michael starts tertiary treatment this week, he's now going to physio from 8-12 Monday through Friday. The poor guy is in pain all of the time and I feel just awful for him.
We also need our mortgage insurance renewed which is irritating as Michael's doctor is currently away.
Things will be a little easier now as were getting a roommate starting December 1st. It's not my ideal situation but we could really use the extra money towards bills with Michael still being off and Christmas coming up. She seems nice enough and has a steady job, so we should be alright.

Hope you all had a spooky Halloween & enjoy all the cute lil trick or treaters.

<3 Alex

What is Worth?

Afternoon blogworld;
A question I struggle with often living in an oil town that has too much money and whose inhabitants view other's worth in regards to big houses, vehicles and nice clothes is what is worth?
I struggle with how worth should be measured, how I view other people and how other people around me view me.
I have a great job at a small business (two locations) that deals in Agriculture equipment. I have my own office and make a decent wage. I went to college for a year and a half to get my Legal Admin diploma and am very happy with what I ended up doing even though it wasn't necessarily for that specific job.
Alot of times though I feel like I'm not "good" enough. Don't get me wrong, I have a better job than most of my friends who have their four year university degree. I don't envy them, I chose not to go to university and I'm glad I did what I did. I didn't want a four year degree in arts or classics or nursing, I didn't want to go to school for five years and be a teacher or an engineer. I wanted to go to school for nine years to be a veterinarian with a specialty in zoology. But I made my choice, did I want to be in school until I was thirty or did I want to be almost directly in a career that I really do enjoy.
We live in this world that all too often measures worth in these very material regards, expensive vehicles, nice houses, designer clothing, university degrees, college diplomas. Especially an oil town like I live in.
Shouldn't worth be based on how we treat others, how we live our lives, how much kindness we show to others.
I live by trying to go out of my way to be pleasant and kind to everyone because you really have no idea what they've been through or are currently struggling with.
This year alone I've dealt with two deaths of people close to me, a death of a friend's child, and a death of a close friend's friend's brother. As well as the accident in March which took away a life I will never know, but that will effect me forever. It made my future uncertain, and turned my world upside down.
I don't tell people this, because it makes people uncomfortable. But all the same, I am not bitter, and I still try to treat everyone with absolute kindness because that's what most people deserve.

I also stumbled upon the BLM community. Which is amazing. They all support eachother through the hardest of times, no matter the social standing or where they work. They're all still Mamas.
 I miscarried very early when I was seventeen.
My life would have been incredibly different, it's not something I wanted in fact my high school "sweetheart" doesn't even know it happened as he was from an extreme religious family. No, it was not my plan to get pregnant at seventeen, no I'm not particularly proud of that or the choices I made at seventeen but it happened and it also changed who I was.
All I've ever wanted was to be a Mama. And knowing; even though it would have been the hardest thing ever, that I could have been still breaks my heart.

I guess what it all comes down to is; how do you measure worth for yourself?
I'm not going to measure worth by the car someone drives but how they treat others.
And I'll always try to be kind, because you never know what people are going through.

That was long and rambling & slightly all over the place, but I hope it made you think and that you'll say something kind to someone today just because; they're worth it.

<3 love, and sunshine
Alex

2011

Good morning;
I've been wanting to write this post for awhile but can't really find the words without wishing my time away.
I'm not one to wish my time away, I enjoy every day even though it may seem like a "boring" day to average people. Nor am I a pessimist, actually, I pride myself on being able to work through and see the good in tough situations.
But 2011 was a crap year. Starting with Michael's accident in March, dealing with the WCB, J's father passing away, my friend K loosing her baby, Michael's old co-worker getting in a motorcycle accident & suffering brain damage, a friend from up North passing away tragically and at a young age, a friend of ours good friend's brother passing away, worrying about finances, we also would have been engaged by now if we were able to afford the ring, the list goes on...
Don't get me wrong this year has had it's ups. We got out amazing puppy, our new kitten, Michael is learning to play the bass, my parents are building their dream home, my sister is learning her seventh instrument (the kid's a genius), we bought our first home, Michael came out of his accident alive, I got a raise and a promotion at work, we bought mortgage insurance!! If it's one thing we've learned we will always, always but life and disability insurance from now on. We have three vehicles (car, truck and a motorcycle), none with insurance that we really could have used.
*Sigh.
I guess I'm just really ready for a new start. Although this fall has me feeling re-energized. this weekend I'm going to clean my house, including the baseboards! Decorate with some fall and Halloween decorations, drink coffee and take it easy.

I hope you all have a wonderful fall and weekend.
<3 Alex

UPs and downS

Hi there Blogworld;
Rundown of life lately:
Michael's sister and one of his step-sisters moved to Lethbridge for college.
Michael is off until December for sure and most likely doing knee surgery in December which results in another few months off.
I got a promotion & raise at work!
One of my best friends moved in with her boyfriend.
Were going to get a roomate for the downstairs bedroom that is currently still unfinished.
I went to Edmonton this weekend to visit a friend I haven't seen since the hospital in March. It was wonderful.
I'm looking at some basic photo editing software so I can start putting some pictures on the blog.

Have to go lots to do!! More later...

<3 Alex

ABC's of Me.

I keep saying that I'm going to do an introductory post. But I haven't. So I found this cute little ABC's of me on a blog I was reading. So now I don't have to keep saying "introductory post to come..."
A: Age - 22 (mid-November).
B: Bed Size - Queen, we could use a king though, Michael is 6'4 and his feet hang off.
C: Chore that you hate - Cleaning the floors. I hate it because I'm OCD about it and I have to get every little piece of fuzz and dirt before I'm satisfied.
D: Dogs - Husky/Norwegian Elkhound named Grace.
E: Essential start to your day - brushing my teeth and washing my face.
F: Favorite Colour - Pink.
G: Gold or Silver - Silver or White Gold, I have olive skin, so yellow gold makes me look, well, yellow.
H: Height - 5'6 and a half.
I: Instruments - Flute & piccolo, some piano
J: Job Title - My card says Finance and Insurance Manager, but I recently took over the Office Manager position as well... So Finance and Insurance and Office Manager.
K: Kids - Our two cats (Suess and Moose known as Little) and above mentioned dog for now.
L: Live - On the prairies in Canada, from Newfoundland Canada.
M: Mother's Name - Brenda
N: Nickname - Alot of friends call me Al, I've been known as Cat, Curly, and Goober as well.
O: Overnight Hospital Stays - Just one, when I broke my leg in the fifth grade. Oh, and I was a preemie baby and in the hospital for almost a month after I was born.
P: Pet Peeves - Oh gosh... When people are frustrated about extenuating circumstances of another issue and take it out on you, water left by the sink and you leaning against it, when jeans come out of the dryer damp, dishonesty, my puppy's tendency to jump all over people, feeling inadequate, the garbage being full & no one taking it out... The general things.
Q: Quote from a movie - So it's not gonna be easy. It's gonna be really hard. We're gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, for ever, you and me, every day. Will you do something for me, please? Just picture your life for me? 30 years from now, 40 years from now? What's it look like? If it's with him, go. Go! I lost you once, I think I can do it again. If I thought that's what you really wanted. But don't you take the easy way out.  - The Notebook
R: Right or Left Handed - Right.
S: Siblings - One little Sister
T: Time you wake up - First alarm goes off at ten to seven, I get out of bed around five after seven.
U: Underwear - Wait, what?
V: Vegetable you hate - Those mini-corns. They're like mutants. Oh and cauliflower, I hate the texture.
W: What makes you run late? - This is a funny question, I am chronically late. If it's not superficial ie) not having my hair done, it's something else; the dog threw up or escaped, one of the cats ran outside, Michael parked the truck behind my car, I forgot breakfast, got stuck behind a street cleaner. Anything really, I am always late, not proud of it, but have come to accept that the universe has reasons for me NEVER being on time.
X: X-rays you've had - My leg and my mouth, I think that's it actually.
Y: Yummy food that you make - I make excellent teriyaki chicken.
Z: Zoo animal - I love all of the big cats and elephants oh and giraffes.

So that's that. Neat little way of getting to know me.

Love,
Alex

Enjoy the Small Things

Hi Blogworld!
I've been reading this great blog that's given me a new lease on life, being happy, and really getting the best our of every moment. It's called Enjoy the Small Things by Kelle Hampton and I love it.
Now, when I'm stressed at work I like to do this neat little idea that really helps; I write ten things that really make me happy. It helps immensely with making my day better, and recently with the death of a friend I've needed to do it more often.
1. E-mails from my friend Katie & the fact that I get to go visit her in a week.
2. Every morning when I get up our little kitten meets me at the bedroom door for cuddles then proceeds to follow me around the house when I get ready.
3. Getting a new job at work & a raise!
4. The color pink, pink sticky notes, pens & pink erasers in my office.
5. Going on a trip to my home province of NL in a month and a half.
6. Ocktoberfest and Halloween are coming up.
7. Etsy shops and how creative people are.
8. Sing alongs with my little sister.
9. Mike learning bass guitar.
10. Playing catch with my puppy and watching her race back to me to sit in my lap.

Hope you all enjoy the small things today and be thankful for the gift each day it!

Love, and lollipops.
<3 Alex

Just keep swimming

Good morning;
It's been awhile since my last post due to the fact that I was wondering, what's the point of posting if no one's reading??
But I changed my mind because it's very relaxing to blog and vent.
Rundown of the long weekend:

• Mike's sister came to visit
• Watched a day and a half of Big.Bang Theory marathon
• Read two thirds of a book
• Cleaned my house
• Did laundry (super exciting, I know)
• Walked my dog, cleaned up after said dog when she messed in her kennel at four this morning (she has never done this!!!)

Also wondering if I'm possibly pregnant. See this is what I love about blogging, I can say that without it being a huge bombshell. I've just been feeling terrible lately, constant heartburn and nausea. Guess I'll find out next week when my monthly friend is due.

Let me get this straight though, we aren't "trying" we'd like to have our wedding May 2013, and we'd ideally like to be married before having any babies. But we aren't being super careful either. I guess that's what happens when you've been together four years, have a house together and are generally comfortable in life.

Our families would be ecstatic, there hasn't been any babies on my side in almost ten years. There hasn't been any babies on Mike's Mom's one side in three years, on Mike's Mom's other side, since his sister was born (she's eighteen), on Mike's Mom's other side (yes there's three sides!) well, they're having babies constantly, I'm pretty sure two of them are pregnant right now. But we don't see them much at all.
On Mike's Dad's side, again the last baby was again Mike's sister. We shall see, we shall see. I've had this feeling before, and it turned out to be nothing but it feels different this time somehow.
Or I've just been reading too many pregnancy blogs lately.

Hope everyone had a great weekend and has a great short work week, I know I will!

<3 Alex

Rollercoaster Weekend

Afternoon cyber-world.
This weekend was extremely up and down.
Myself and Mike had a dinner on Saturday for J as he asked us to, and we had 13 or 14 friends over.
It was great, everyone had a good time, the house was a disaster the next day but that just proves it was a great party.
J had a slight breakdown at one point, but no one could blame him of course. We were just there for him as friends which is all we can do.
So Saturday was great. Feeling a little worse for wear on Sunday, Mike and I went for lunch. At lunch I received a facebook message from a friend that I went to college with. She and her husband lost their baby on Saturday night at 33 weeks pregnant. I can't even imagine. I really, really can't.
I'm not going to post the details as it's not my place, even with how vague I am. This beautiful woman and her husband need their privacy and I know they have alot of friends all over the world.
On the upper hand again, Mike starts his business degree this week, so that's wonderful, I'm so proud of him.

Sunshine, lollipops and love. Especially to K&P and their beautiful angel-baby B, and J of course.

Alex
PS: Getting around to the getting to know you post. When life stops throwing huge curveballs and events and whatnot.

Life is unfair.

Hello non-existent followers. At least I can pretend someone is reading this.
Let's call you B. Good solid letter.
Hi B;

This was supposed to be an introductory type post where I tell you about myself (how very narcissistic of me). However, today I found out a very close friend of mine's father was in a motorcycle accident this past weekend. He's on life support, with little to no brain function. :( He's such a nice, sweet, decent man. And hilarious. He doesn't deserve this. No one deserves this. Okay, well, some people. But basically no one.

I said to Mike today, wow, I can't even imagine what he's going through. Mike looked at me funny, and I thought, oh wait, yes I can. And you know what? It's hell. I don't wish that on anyone, to have to sit there and look at that person you love and wonder, are they ever going to look at me again? Will they ever know who I am again?
And you know what else? Nothing anyone says can make a damn difference.
I'm a coper (cope-er?); I deal with things well, I make decisions, I stick to them, I follow through. I'm stubborn and tenacious, which I guess makes me an ideal girlfriend for Mike in the situation he went through in March being incoherent for nine days. (Again with the narcissism!! I'm normally not self-centered.. At least not too much).
I coped, I dealt, I told people off who were being over emotional or hard to deal with, I organized insurance and who was taking care of our house and our animals; and I waited for my boyfriend to come back to me. Because he was going coming back to me. Or I'd go wherever he was and drag him back.
.. Hmm.. Kind of went off on a tangent.
Point being I guess, I hope my friend stays strong, uses the support he has around him and most of all, I hope his Dad will be alright.
If you believe in prayer, please pray for J's Dad, if you don't, please just hope for him.

Today, not feeling the sunshine and lollipops.
Alex

First Post Nerves

Hello out there cyber-world.
My name is Alex (yes a woman named Alex, it's a family name). I'm a twenty-one (twenty-two in three months today, yay birthdays!) year old female living in Canada in a city of about 27,000 people.
Decided to take up blogging as a result of my boyfriend being in a semi-truck accident March of this year, and deciding it would be good to vent, and keep sane and positive in a constructive manner.
On March 15th of this year, my boyfriend was involved in a head-on semi collision due to extreme weather conditions resulting in a no fault accident, that broke my boyfriend's femur, gave him ten stitches in his head, a concussion, staples in his leg, and fatty embolism syndrome. (Resulting from fat escaping from his broken femur, and rushing to his brain and lungs). The other gentleman involved in the accident, unfortunately and to our greatest sorrow passed away.
Now, five months later; were still dealing with the consequences of this accident, fun stuff with WCB, getting Mike (my boyfriend, gee I forgot to mention his name!) signed up and ready for college, finishing the basement and landscaping our first house, planning an engagement and wedding, dealing with an insane puppy. And dealing with our equally insane families.
It's not always easy, but it's our life, I wouldn't change it for the world and I'm thankful every day I get to wake up next to Mike and tell him that I love him.

Sure there will be more posts soon.
Sunshine & lollipops to you all.

Alex <3